June 6, 2023 • 43 mins
My dear friend and fellow shark, Barbara Corcoran, joined me, providing a deep dive into her blueprint for forging a successful real estate empire and elucidating the steps she undertook to etch her name in the annals of the real estate industry.
She spotlighted an experience that touches many - the arduous process of navigating rejection and hearing the word 'no'. Yet, her resilient response, encapsulated both in her persuasive dialogue and the bold actions that followed, serves as an inspiring lesson for all. It's a method to internalize when faced with inevitable hurdles on your professional journey.
Barbara Corcoran, the real estate magnate and television personality, transparently shared the internal struggles and battles she wrestled with, highlighting her unique approach to transmuting self-doubt into a catalyst for ambition and motivation. The journey to success isn't without its trials - she intricately discusses her strategic move of authoring a compelling, impactful letter that paved her way to a prime-time opportunity on Shark Tank. This captivating narrative underscores the immense value of effective communication, unwavering determination, and a keen understanding of the corporate chessboard in the high-stakes world of business
Host: Daymond John
Producers: Beau Dozier & Shanelle Collins; Ted Kingsbery, Chauncey Bell, & Taryn Loftus
For more info on how to take your life and business to the next level, check out DaymondJohn.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
All right, Bob, thank you so much for being here
and spending this moment on that moment with me. So
I want to I want to hop right into it. Barb.
You know at an age it's been published already. You
know your boyfriend or whatever left you secretary. You've bought
a thousand dollars and you turned it into it. And
that's what I always say, you turned it into a
(00:40):
really big exit.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Well, it was twenty three when I started the Corcoran Group,
or the corkorand Simone company was my first business, and
I was twenty nine when you married my secretary. By
the way, Damon, John, it's a pleasure to be here.
You're my favorite shark. I think you're so handsome and
brilliant and I was really excited to talk with you today.
You didn't give me a chance to say thank you
for letting me come.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
That is impressive because I know that I am your
paper strick. I do know that, but all the rest
of that you have very a great way of people
either making people either feel like shit or feeling special.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
So yes, it's so true.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But you're always in the good category.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Nine, Barb. What you're at the point of twenty nine
years old, where I would think, like most self the
women that I met there, saying I have to really
start considering what I'm gonna do over the next five years,
because I want to probably be most likely be a
mother man that I have he left me. What was
going on in your mind that made you feel like
(01:43):
you can do this? You can start your own business
against those type of odds. I know you came from
a family of two thousand kids.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Are you exaggerated? My dear ten kids seems like nothing
by comparison.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Listen, people don't know. Barbara did not grow up with
a lot. You just grew up with a lot of
that's all. She had a lot of. And that's not
easy at that time. Even till today, women still get
the short end of the stick. But at that time,
you really got the short end of the stick, being
one of ten being left and more and more importantly,
being insulted by being left by for somebody else that
(02:17):
worked for you. What was going through your mind at
that moment? Why would you decide to no, you know what,
I'm going to go out and conquer the world. Why
and we'll go on through your mind?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Do you make me sound a lot better and stronger
than I actually was, And thank you for having that confidence.
But I did not own that confidence myself at the time.
All I had in my mind was is she prettier
than me?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
And she was.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
She was five years younger than me. He was ten
years older than me, so he was fifteen years her senior,
ten years my senior. And she was a lot prettier
than me and more charming. And that's the part that
bugged me. I wasn't thinking about business, I wasn't thinking
about children. I was just thinking, why would you pick
her over me?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
And I was heartbroken and it blew my confidence.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I really didn't have confidence for about a year until
I just got mad enough. And it happened one day
when I went in the office. I saw them holding
hands in my old office, and she took my desk
his idea, and they're giggling and looking at each other
lovingly and hugging each other.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
When I hear he left you for your secretary, it's
not just like he left and ran off. He kicked
you out or you left.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
No, he left me as my boyfriend, h but not
as my partner. And he wouldn't let me fire the
secretary because he said he was the majority owner, which
he was. He on fifty one percent and he was
in charge. And so I lived with the two of
them for a year, watching the happiness. When I couldn't
find a man to marry fast enough.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Why did you stay? Was it because you didn't have
any other options to leave? You weren't confident enough? Like
I think that if you listen to that story, knowing
the Barbara Corker now who's super successful, you would say,
a man right there in front of you, who's your boyfriend,
marries your secretary. You guys are still partners, and you
(04:12):
didn't spit in his face or leave. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
There's a lot wrong with me. And the main thing
was remember he had found me at a diner. He
told me I could make something of myself, which I
didn't know. He loaned me the thousand dollars to start
the business. He believed in me. He took me out
of my hometown of Edgewater into the big city. He
made me a success or. As I saw it, he
(04:37):
made me the success I was already very young, and
I thought I would be nothing without him. So it's
easy to say, kick up your heels and get the
hell out of there. But it's something else to gather
your skirts about you and get your confidence under you
and walk out the door. I did not have that confidence,
and I'm ashamed it took me a whole year. But
at least I got to the point one year later
(04:59):
of walking in one day and saying, we're ending this
business today. At least I got to the point where
I walked in one day and took control of the circumstance.
Maybe a little late, maybe a year after a lot
of broken hearts and tears, but at least I got there.
And once I did, I worked like lightning speed to
get rid of him, the company, chop up the company,
(05:20):
get rid of the girlfriend, and start all over again.
Maybe I just need a little runway space.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if
it took too long, you said, because the question of
that moment is did he see more in you in
the beginning when you were that waitress and he knew that,
whether he had his skill or not, he knew that
you were kind of look right, and you were it
(05:48):
was inevitable that you were going to be successful if
somebody gave you a little bit more direction. But maybe
he just gave you direction and sped up that success
in one year or five years instead of ten. But
a lot of people are in relationships, business relationships and
personal relationships where they feel dependent on somebody else because
that person happened to be the first or your mother,
(06:11):
I'm sure and your family always have been supported, but
that person was the extern and personal person. Oh, I
believe in you, but you already great.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
You say that you didn't know me then. I wasn't
so great. I was a poor student in school, much
like you.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Damon.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I had never had a success ever in my life,
and suddenly this great, cool guy ten years my senior
shows me the way in life.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I mean, he saw something in you, he saw the
He saw something in you to not only see There
is the thing about a person coming into your life
saying I like you be my girlfriend. There's a difference
of I like you be my girlfriend and let's start
a business together, because that's how much I believe you.
(06:54):
That's night and day. Because if you would already believe
that he was such a great person, then you would
have been with him any way. You just would have
been maybe working another restaurant, but in a bigger city.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Consider this possibility. Let's say he looked at me as
that cute little waitress with the pigtails, the bows on
my thing, beautiful white version behind the counter, and said
to himself, I bet she's great in bed, and maybe
I was. And then eventually he said, you know what,
if I want to keep this check, I better.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Give her some money and start a business.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Maybe because I know that you weren't great in bed,
he talked, sod.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
You remember that night? Thank god? I thought you.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Forgot about it. So I'll see you in court, mister.
But what do you think it was? I'm gonna get
this interview. I promised we're gonna get through this interview.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Without a lawsuit.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I doubt it, Okay, what was what? What was it
then that he saw on you? As you reflect on that,
and let me ask.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Something your interview, I'm the wrong person you ought to
have Ramon Simone on your show.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Do you remember in part what he with you? What
was the song at that moment that you healed yourself
listen to a thousand times?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Do you remember I don't remember hearing a song. I
just remember working endless hours to hide myself in my work,
so I wouldn't have to feel the pain.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
That's all. I recall. I had my own song.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You could do it, Barbie Dolling, you could do it,
You could do.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I don't remember the song. I don't even think I
had the radio one. For God's sake. All right, you
could take subjects.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
But let me just take a guess at what was
in his head when he suggested I have a thousand
dollars to start my business or our business. I just
remember him saying, you have a fabulous personality, you'd be
great in real estate sales. Why don't you start a business.
It was as quick, an instant and impressionable as that,
And I said, sure, why not? I try to anything else.
I've had twenty two other jobs. I'll give that a shot.
(09:03):
What the heck? I was more surprised than he was
when I found out I was good at it. And
it wasn't as though I was good at real estate.
I'm still not even good at it. I don't really
I'm not that interested in real estate and really never
have been. But what I'm really interested is people. And
from the get go I was so good with the
few people we hired and I think that's what got
(09:24):
the whole shooting match going rolling in the right direction.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Was that something? Were you in the twenty two jobs?
Were you good as a waitress? Were you good as
various that they did? You make more money, you have
more return customers, better tips, and various things as.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I always made money as a waitress. I always made
money in any kind of sales front forward, dealing with
people position because I really love people, even the bad
moons I love and I get a kick out of them.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
And so when you naturally like people, you tend to
do well with them.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You and I were both dyslexic. I think that a
lot of people don't realize. I think it was eight
of the twelve shots of the lex say view myself,
keln O'larry, Richard Branson, I think Rohan and various others,
but this you have this ability to cut straight through
to the core of something and either extract some value
from somebody like the money doing the photo shoot I've
(10:18):
seen a million times, and you just say some crazy
stuff to bring some joy out of them and make
them the most pleasing thing. And where does this kind
of tunnel vision on what to extract where does this
come from? Because I always tell people I'm on trick pony.
I get something and I licensed it. I put it
on the star, I said. Barbara is the most brilliant
(10:40):
marketing person I've ever met in my life because she
can come out with she could think of she could
think of things out of the air, like hey, EO,
or whatever's coming to town, I'm going to take them
through the sewers of New York City.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I'm gonna or Hey, you know you're smart, you know
you're here, I can do something to make you smart,
get that best shot out of you, or even when
people think it's an insult and it's not, it's that
what guys, I love the way that look.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I know, you saw a barbecue stuff. Would you look
like a pig? And the guy looked like a pig?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
That was pretty obvious. He looked like a pig, but
a cute one.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
But do you realize that gift of yours or it
just is so natural but you seem to home in
on it. Do you realize that's a gift or not?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
It's my secret sauce. I stole it from my mother.
What my mother could do better than anyone I have
ever met. My life is size people up, and that
sized people. I'll be careful of this guy, don't trust him.
She had that too, But she could look somebody talk
two minutes and say, it's too bad they never went
into the field of such and such. They'd be great
(11:40):
at it, like how do you know you've never been
in business. But she knew it's too bad. That little
boy is so sad. If only the mother had gotten
him in the playground, he would be great at sports
and find his confidence. Eddie, her husband, Eddie, take him
to the playground, Take that kid with you. She was
always great at putting her finger on what the gift
of everybody that he was and blowing it up. Now,
(12:02):
about making people to your reference a moment ago, about
making people comfortable and bringing out the best in people.
I can also intuitively feel people's insecurity always right away,
So on a photo shoot or something, I know how
to get around people to make them relax because I
know what they're worried about, and I know how to
shore them up and get them relaxed right away, And
then the whole thing works for everybody.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
It's such so much more fun all the way around.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Right it is until, as you have said yourself, it
is until you stick your foot in your mouth. Because
been very loose and very fun with people, and sometimes
even though you make a mistake at the moment and
you even make it as fun, let's all enjoy it.
And hey, I'm the one that put in my mouth?
(12:48):
How do you do that too? Because we're in a
world where everybody gets offended so easily, and you tend
to not care because you know you're coming at it
from a good place, and you say things all this
and that you go, oh, my silly self whatever, like
how do people even how do you do that? Was
that something you had to learn and that was national
(13:09):
as well?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
No, that's just an attempt to have fun. However, I
have a cautionary bone in me.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
In social media. You cannot do that. You cannot be
yourself in social media.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I edit myself before I open my mouth on social
media post anything, because I realized the danger of that loose,
lucidness that I have wouldn't be well received by maybe
a minority of the people who are watching or listening.
But nonetheless, you get buried with that stuff. So I'm
very careful on social media, but on a one on
(13:39):
one relationship in a crowd out of work, kidding around.
You get a chance to go around once, you might
as well have the most fun going around, don't you think.
And you're a good sport and most people are good sports.
They love to play. We're all children at heart, and
we're dying to have a good laugh, don't you think.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I think so that's why we enjoy you tell this
so much. So now all of a sudden, your career
are going and you're a career woman, and I know this.
I want you to share the story of when you
had your first child you scheduled to have You just
went in and you made it almost like a meeting
right to have your first child. Can you tell me
the story of that.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I was married to my first husband and I talked
into taking me down the aisle trying to beat my
boyfriend and his girlfriend down the aisle. He won by
two months. So I dragged this poor innocent guy from
California down the aisle, married the guy, and then within
a year I realized it was a big mistake. It
was a consummate marry on the rebound fastest story. But anyway,
(14:40):
he wanted to have children in the meanest way, and
I never got pregnant. For seven years, I never got pregnant.
Thing to dodge that bullet. But when I married my
husband Bill, I was a dog in heat and I
wanted to have children right away and I couldn't have them.
And I forgot to tell you one little anecdote that
you might find amusing with my first husband. My first
(15:02):
husband was from California. Everything about him was like an
old man. He smoked a pipe, he moved slow, he
talked slow, he thought slow. He was smart and anyway,
I was convinced when we didn't have children after a
few years, I said, the problem with you is your
sperm and slow. I think you had to go to
a doctor and check out your sperm. I think they're
not good swimmers. And he came back for the doctor.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
And said, uh ah. The doctor said, I'm fine. It
must be you and will and behold it was me.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I subsequently left him, thinking I had dodge a bullet
not having children, because that marries you to someone for life.
I feel in a weird way. And when I married
my husband, Bill, who I married thirty five years ago,
I was dying to have kids and Bill had already
had kids, but he wanted to have kids with me.
So I started seven years of in vitro to have children.
(15:52):
Thank god, it finally worked. It finally worked, and I
gave birth to my son Tom. But by then I
was forty six, a little too late to have ten kids,
I think. But then ten years later I adopted, of course, Katie,
when I was fifty six, So I wound up with
two children. I wish I had eight or ten or twelve,
but at least I have two, and I'm thankful for that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Now, Now, do you think that it was? It was it?
I guess it was because you really didn't love the
guy as much. You didn't want children from him. But
what was your career, because at that time the Corkman
group you were probably it was all the size of
the business at that time when you were forty years
How many employees did you have one? Indeed, do I probably.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Had maybe two hundred and fifty three hundred employees when
I married my first husband, and then when I married
my second husband, I probably had five six hundred employees.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
And so for all the working parts I was working for.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Your listening to you right now, were you with the
wrong person for the wrong reasons, or was it because
you just felt you were growing your business at two
hundred you didn't get to five one. You didn't know
you let me get to five hundred, but you were
just so consumed with business. What was the reason why
you didn't want to have children then? And then all
of a sudden would bill you want to have children?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It was false confidence. My mother had ten kids. My
sisters had three, four or five kids each. They had
kids like rabbits when they want to have children, they
popped a few out.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I figured, being the daughter of.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
My mother and father, I would be able to have
as many kids as I want, as late as I want.
I had full security, all right. But it wasn't until
I got near forty three, forty four, forty five that
I started thinking maybe I would never have children. That's
why it seemed like a miracle when I did. But
I'm not sure I really answered your question on that one.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Did I marry the wrong guy? Yes?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I did the first time, but he served a purpose.
He brought me over troubled waters when that was a
song out then that I remember bridge over troubled Waters,
and I would always think he took me away from
the boyfriend that left me, and he comforted me. He
was so kind hearted and took care of me and
mended me.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Really lovely man.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Except it wasn't the kind of thing that could be
a life partner. Wasn't for me until I met Bill,
and I was crazy enough to sign up for that guy.
Oh my god, I should have gone to a psychiatrist
and had my head examined.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
It was a.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Challenge of a lifetime compared to my first husband. But
I guess I like challenges. But I guess I like
(18:39):
challenges because I liked Billing an awful lot.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I think Bridgel the Trouble Water is a perfect song
because when I was first coming up and food was starting,
and as Cuban would saying, girls to say is fool
or me? I was like, I forgot what was your name? Again?
But I met the spicy woman who was just really great.
And I was at the time of my life when
I was risking everything. I was already what I felt
very similar to you. I was twenty six, twenty seven
(19:06):
years old. I was proud to say that I wasn't
one of the young men who had babies under age.
I was being very careful with what I was doing.
I had everything at risk, and the last thing I
needed to do was get married and or have children.
When I have a thing called food within me. Actually,
after eight years of putting everything in, I may see
some light and then all of a sudden, I have
(19:26):
to have this woman. I have to have children with her.
I mean that healthy, not healthy. It's a little bit
of a balance on what life, on what God puts
in your way. Or that's why I'm going to say it.
But so now all of a sudden, it's interesting. You
probably have told the story of giving percentage away to
a great worker of yours who helped scale the business.
(19:46):
You scale the business when you sold the company the business?
Were you excited about selling it? What was your reasoning?
Did you get the number you wanted? You got a
number that surpassed it? What you have drive afterwards? I'm
just curious because they say that about one third of
people die five years after retiring or sell their business.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Mode, Oh, sell them the business after you're retiring. It's
a different ages.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
We're selling their business. Now. The stat could be skewed
because they could have been sick and that's why they
sold but they could. They've also said that there was
no drive and you start drinking, or you don't have purpose.
How did you feel after selling the business and what
was it? What did you feel like that moment when
you either got that check or got that wire? How
did you feel that moment? Were you scared? Were you're happy?
(20:33):
Were you confused?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It was chopped? The decision to sell my business was
so simple. It was like adding one in one equals
to I was adding up the numbers one night, studying
my market share as against my competition. I've been creeping
up the ranks.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I was the.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Lowest on the total pole, and then I was number seven.
Then I was number six, and number three, the number two,
and I was breathing right down the biggest competitor's neck,
which was Douglas Sell thement at the time.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
And then one night I did the numbers with my partner, Esther,
who was my ten percent partner. We added them up
and clear as a bell, we were number one, and
I said, let's sell this joint.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oh he was like what, and I said, yeah, I
reached my goal and the number one broke in New York.
What am I going to work for let's sell this joint.
She goes, how are you going to do that? I said,
we'll figure it out. We both went home that night.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
The next morning made a few phone calls, and within
about three months this shop was sold. It was quick, fast,
and furious about the purchase price, which was I think
the more interesting.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Part of the story.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
When I got my first offer from the loan buyer,
they offered me twenty two million dollars, and I was
on a chair going up to a ski run with
my brother.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
My younger brother said.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I just got a twenty two million dollar He said,
what did you tell them? He said, twenty Do you
know what.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Twenty two million dollars is war? Could you imagine twenty
two million dollars? Twenty two million dollars?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
We were the richest people in that chair lift in
the world, even though we didn't have our money on
the twenty two and I said, yeah. I told them
I'll take sixty six. He said why sixty six? I said,
it's my lucky number. And Sunday they eventually paid sixty six.
A month later, they kept upping it. I kept firm
until they hit sixty six. I said, I'll take it,
(22:19):
but I had a little a good luck and bad
luck rolled into one. So far it was all great.
And then I sold the contract Friday night before nine
to eleven. I remember my new CEO where I had
put in place, called me and said it's eleven thirty.
All the attorneys and accounts have to go home, will
resume on Monday. And I am the nicest, easiest going boss,
(22:40):
and I said to her, nobody's going home to that
deal is done.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
She was in.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Westchester County and she said, no, well, just we'll we
all clear our calendars first thing Monday morning. I said, no,
sign it tonight. Nobody goes home till its signed. And
they worked till one in the morning, got it signed,
and on Monday, nine to eleven happened.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Wow, boy was that.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Lucky that I got that. But unfortunately that first week
no one would return my phone call. The acquired disappeared
off the face of the earth, such silence, and I
realized the deal was never going to close. It was
just never going to happen. And I went and visited
him and closed the deal. I want to tell you
the details on that, but I closed the deal, and
thank god I got the sixty six million dollars about
(23:22):
two weeks after nine to eleven. But you asked me
another I think I dropped pc a question.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
What was something that's amazing? And now all of a
sudden because I think one of the top questions that
I'm asked, and I'm sure you are the same thing.
Two or three ways work like balance. But then people
like when do I take in an investor? And how
do I know when it's time to sell? And that's
all very personal matter to people, each individual. It sounded
like you're you had two personal things. You had number one.
(23:47):
We're number one, so I'm done, let's get it over
with because you wanted to prove something to somebody, whether
it's yourself or the world.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I reached my goal. What was that going to work on?
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I don't know, because other people say, now that I've
reached this level of success and I'm so happy and
I'm pulling money. I mean, you may have been pulling
money out of business. They go, what am I going
to do after? Because this is all I know how
to do. But then you also had another number too.
You had number one and you had sixty six, and
that they both met. It sounds like you exited what
happens next that you have this money, because you're a
(24:19):
very active person, were you able to shift this into
the things you love buying privately? I'm sure you had
to non non compete or did you sit around and go,
what the hell am I going to do? Now? I'm
trying to understand what did that? After you got that check?
How did you feel for the next six months.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
I'll tell you how it felt immediately, and then how
it felt one week later. How it felt immediately was
like the Catholic miracle. My mother always told us we
would get if we were really good kids, like it
finally happened. Catholic miracle happened. And the morning after actually
not Saturday morning, Monday morning, with nine to eleven, I
(24:58):
went to the City Bank, which was still open, and
I got a check, not a check. I got my
little cash card for two hundred dollars. I always got
two hundred dollars every Monday. And when I went to
chit and gave me my receipt, it said I had
sixty six million dollars in my.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Account, my chicking account.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I was like, ah, it was such a thrill. And
every time I go to the City bank, machine still
the same one. I would never change machines. Now I
get that same not the same thrill, but I live
it like groundhog Day again, you know the here Okay,
So that was ecstatically unbelievable to me. However, then by
(25:37):
the middle of the week, I knew exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
What I wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I wanted to do all the things I never had
time to do. And I signed up for an Italian
cooking guess and I took my first class and realized
that wasn't going to do it.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
I better find something else to do.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Oh what to say? You can cook? Because you know
I wouldn't be a house to dinner.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You keep that story to yourself for a change, please,
okay tell it.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
No, I won't tell it. I won't tell it.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I made up for it.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I've made some good meals for you, damon, John. And
you know, ever since that bad.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
One, it's not that you made a bad meal. You
didn't make anything. You didn't make ship. You was nothing there, Barbara, Barbara,
a little pack where you got a little bit of this,
a little bit of protein, and whatever it was. I
had to go down. My wife and I are stomachs
of growling. Your dogs growling and me, I think, because
(26:29):
you thought the dog was in the room, We're going
down and says we had to eat street meat and
then come back upstairs.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I knew you were gonna tell it. I knew you
couldn't resist. God, I remember.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
That obviously you take cooking. What else did you do
after that?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I got depressed. I honestly got depressed for the first
time in my life. I never felt like a depressed
person or that type. But I don't know who I was.
I didn't know where I was going. I it's terribly
my team of brokers at the corporate Group. I had
hired every one of those thousand brokers when I sold
the business. I knew them, I knew their family. I
love them, even on a bad day, I love them.
(27:10):
And all of a sudden, I had nobody. I had
made my kitchen, and my husband and my dog. Yeah,
and you know what, I couldn't find the challenge, the excitement,
the curiosity, the creativity, all the things that are involved
in building a business for all of us. I couldn't
find any of that in my kitchen.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
I just said, five hundred people, let's say each one
is making a deal a week. You got, you got wires,
you got, you gotta travel. You you're fighting other competitors.
That's super fat. That's my point, right, it's super fast faced.
Now all of a sudden, Okay, the money's great, right,
one hundred percent. If you're smart, you're not blowing at all.
(27:52):
So then now a sudden, it just goes from one
hundred miles an hour to five.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Zero zero miles an hour.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
What do you do?
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I got depressed. I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
How long did that take? Bar?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
You know what I did? Though I have I'm a
great logical thinker. A couple of weeks later, I sat
down with my big yellowpad, put the line down the middle,
and I put down on the left side everything I
loved to do and work, and on the right side
everything I hated to do and work what I never
liked doing. And I looked at the column and kept
(28:25):
staring at the column I loved to do. And I
asked myself what occupations could I do that would use
up those gifts that I had?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
And I came up with two things.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Start a public relations company because I was so good
at it, or start a marketing company because I was
so good at it. But then I realized both of
those businesses wouldn't give me the attention that I was
accustomed to. And the third thing on the list was
going to the TV business, and that's why I decided
to let that one win, and I started going to
(28:55):
the studios and trying to get a job as a
real estate expert because I was, and the Today Show
hired me for one day a week, and that was
the beginning of my new career. I made it sound emzy.
That effort took probably five hundred rejections. My Rolodex was
useless to me and one yes, thank god, one yes finally, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
I don't think people take what you just said as
serious as it's just I want. I remember when I
was first working with the Kardashians and I was at
dinner with Kim and I said, what do you want
to do? She said, I want to be famous, just
like that. Wow, she said, I want to be famous,
and we were told me, I think she's at Reggie
(29:39):
by far. Yeah, and she said something like any aspect
of my life I'm going to show a social media
just coming out, and she was like, like me and Reggie.
We kissed publicly we do. I'm a very private person
when it comes to those matters. And she said I
want to be famous, and I think that was she
was focused enough on what she really wanted. A lot
of people want fame and or it's easy to say
(30:01):
I want to be successful because they can go, hey,
I want to be successful. I want to take care
of my family. Everybody can relate to that for some
way to say, like you just said, it wasn't giving
me the attention that I wanted or needed. Very there's
not a lot of people you may say I want
to be a singer because.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I want to make everybody happiest.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Saying for a few people like maybe Kim or like
you would say I want attention. Now, that's extremely powerful
and that's knowing your why. And I was able to
get you to take all the other things out of
the way. Uh, PR this and that, I don't even
know PR. I want to be the one that they're
talking about.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I want to be the star.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Was that because you was that? Because you came up
with a family of ten where you needed the attention.
You very clear and it's easy to say, listen, out
of ten kids, the one who makes the funniest jokes
or the one who does stand on their head gets attend.
What what during that moment when you drew that pad?
What during that moment made you really you were blatantly
(31:03):
honest with yourself. What made you go there and be
able to even say it to people?
Speaker 3 (31:08):
I don't know about saying it to people, but I
was in touch with.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
My feelings when I was working my after school jobs.
Since I was very young, I always knew how to grandstand.
I always knew how to get attention whatever I went,
because I really needed it. When I was at the
Corcoran group, most people would say having an empire and
having so many people working for you and having a
brand that's well known was great. That wasn't what I
(31:31):
found great. What I found great was the reporters calling
me every day and asking my opinion.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
That was attention. I loved it.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
When I saw my name in print quoted, that was attention.
And I'm sure, and stem back to my mother and
father having those two they had to share their attention
with ten kids. I'm sure I had a deficit. If
I had seen a shrink, I probably wouldn't have been
successful because I probably would have gotten known my need
for attention, but I didn't, and therefore I kept on
(32:00):
that path. How do I get more attention? How do
I grandstand? How do I get all eyes on me?
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I need to have them on me. It's really a.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Sick o situation, isn't it, And not the healthiest stance
for anybody. But nonetheless, that's who I was, and that's
the race I ran and won.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
What do you think they'll barber about that? When you
see other people as you and your mother had a
great gift, do you think that not being honest with
ourselves is probably one of the biggest traps that we
have that we end up not living a proofful life
because you're very honest with yourself. Do you see that
in other people? They're just not honest with themselves.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
No.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You know what I think is a much more damaging
thing that happens with a lot of people, happened with me.
I was an exem from it is you can't shake
the old tape setter in your head. Whatever you used
to be as a kid, whatever your insecurities are, whatever
stops you, whatever you second guess, it's so ingrained because
it came up. It's your child to a friend that
(33:00):
came up the ranks with you, and to change that
tape is very difficult. I know, and you would know
as well as I know.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
How hard is.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
It to shake a tape in your head that you're
a dumb kid? Okay when you're in school, defined as
a dumb kid you can't read or write laughing at you.
You don't shake that so easily. We turn it into
our advantage because we're proving the world.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I know it's a YouTube.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Damon as well as as me, proven the world you're
not stupid, you're successful, you could do what you want
to do. I'm still proving it. But I think shaking
out that tape, getting rid of it, and trying to
bust through it and just be a new you and
ignore that old, dirty tape. I think it's the biggest
challenge for most of us. It has been for me.
It still creeps in my insecure moments. Not that I'm
(33:45):
afraid of being poor or going backwards in that way,
because I could always get a job as a waitress.
I'm a great waitress, but just the idea that believing
in the way you used to define yourself, you've got
to get rid of that shit if you're going to
move forward, and I've been successful in doing that, and
I think it's very hard.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
For people to get rid of it. It takes a
lot of practice.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
You won't believe the tape in my head that kicks
in now and I'm insecure. Used to be, Oh Barbia,
shouldn't be. You shouldn't have really tried it so important.
That guy's not worth your time. Don't ask for anything
you'll find back at the office.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
You could do this.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I used to like back off and things. I wanted
to be a killer on and ride the horse and
slay the dragon out, back off, back off.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
No.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Then I have a great tape.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
It says you are hot shit, you are good looking,
you are brilliant, you are wonderful, you.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Are the cats me out. I just loaded up with
all this shit, so there's no room for the old tape.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
But I think it takes a lot of practice at
that to really make it your own. I really do,
And I think it holds a lot of people back.
A lot of people back, a lot of people back,
people want to be back. There's a lot of practice
(35:03):
at that to really make it your own. I really do,
and I think it holds a lot of people back.
I know the people I've been acquainted with is as friends.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
I love the way to say that when people want
to know their why, instead of going back there wanting
to go back to who that kid was and say,
like you said, is a kid who came along with
the journey with you. You never get fully rid of that person,
or maybe you extract some of the values. Now let's
go to something. I think there was a very special
moment that a lot of people don't realize. Things come
down to a moment. I always say, you're an amazing skier.
(35:33):
I've been told I know that I'll dust you on
a snowboard, but it's fine. But I'm told that people
practice for four years ago to the Olympics, and they
will practice over the best people in the world, and
they will win over milliseconds for four years of practice. Amazing.
It's the same as it's the same as an opening
of a letter. I realized the other day that I said,
some of my negotiations have gone on for months, when
(35:56):
all I needed to do instead of telling the lawyer
of this, and he tells that lawyer that, and she
tells that lawyer that all I need to write is
the opening sentence was, here's what I'm trying to accomplish,
and to accomplished, I make sure that I say I
know you're great, I know you have this, I know
you're trying to complish this. Hey, I'm trying to do
this with you. You got turned down for to come out
to film Shark Tank, and you wrote a great letter
(36:17):
and it opened up to Mark Burnette with hey, Mark,
I heard you took another girl to the dance.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
That great line.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
That is an opening and the story. I don't want
to butcher, but basically you you got turned down or
you said that you were you wanted to go out
there to film, and you heard that you were in
the runnings and you said, yeah, you know, they went.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
I signed a contract, they offered me the job. I
signed a contract and federalshing it.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Tell it really quick. The story. I know this story
was to get into it about that.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
They had come back and told me after I signed
the contract, they had changed your mind. They hired another
woman from my job, so that could be you. I
signed the contract and they reminded me they didn't countersign
the contract.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
That's true, they called me and consider me a fallback
sometime in the future. That's the kiss of death. That's
like being the ugly sister at a problem right. Who
wants that spot?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Right?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
And then I sat down and wrote your email that
you just referenced, and that was the first line. I understand, Mark,
you asked another girl to dance instead of me. I
appreciate being considered a fallback, but I'm much more accustomed
to coming in first. And let me tell you why.
And I said, all the best things that happened to
me in my life happened on the heels of rejection.
And I cited Sister Stella Marie telling me I'd be
(37:38):
stupid because I couldn't read right to the Donald himself,
who wouldn't pay me a penny of the four million
dollars till I beat him in federal court, till all
the old boys networks saying I would never compete with them,
un till he became the number one rival.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
I just cited my mom my five high points. I
guess you'd call it.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
And I told him I'd consider coming out, or I'd
like him to consider taking me out to compete for
the seat. I'd be on the plane on Tuesday night,
and that's when you met me. The next day, he
invited me out, and I competed for that seat, and
the rest of it is history.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
As they he took the number one seat, and we're
all better for it. How did you have the emotional
intelligence to write that letter? Without that letter, somebody else
would have said that email would have went off as
Barbara is desperate, and look at the great Barbara Corkor
and look at the shit she sent me.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I didn't give a shit what they thought. Honestly, I've
never I gave up on worrying about that back when
I was in school. Really, you know what, I felt
like it was written from an attitude of strength, which
it was like, I cannot believe you actually passed me by.
I was insulted and I was angry, and that's what
got me to write it. And you know what, I
really felt that they were missing the best thing that
could have ever happened. It was sincere and powerful. And
(38:53):
he heard the tone because he said to Charman, if
you remember Charmon, she was the recruiter of the town.
I don't know if she approached you first. She was
the one who approached me. She called me back and
she said, I took your email into Mark. I made
a promise to take it in and he said, she's
a real shark. What a better compliment than that, she's
a real shark?
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Inviter out? Oh, and of course I got invited out.
Do you know what?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Everything I have a visualized came true? And I had
a picture of me as a shark, and the idea
that it wasn't going to come true didn't make any
sense to me. It didn't follow the script of my life.
And that's why I stood up to be counted and objected,
and I did it as a lady, but with a
lot of power as well. I think it was well written.
I want you to know not to tell Mark Burnett.
I shot it off so fast. I probably rewrote it
(39:38):
seven or eight times to.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Make sure every word counted.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
But it looked like it was off the cuff. I
just wrote it off the cup. But it turned the key,
and that's all that's important. It gave me the opportunity
to meet all these great entrepreneurs, great ones and not
just great ones over all the years. Yeah, and it
created a whole new life of me, a whole new
team of people to surround myself with my own joy
back r.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
But you would think they would with a person that
has so much success and admiration that you wouldn't have
to keep fighting like that, even though it's just a
small fight or a big fight, you wouldn't have to
prove yourself. And a lot of people think that for
some reason, they just stop fighting after a while. They
think they're going to get to a point of Barbara
Corporate and they're gonna have to stop fighting because everybody's
gonna kneel at their feet. What would you say to
(40:21):
people like that, you fight harder today to prove yourself
because people want to bet against you because you are successful.
Do people just think it comes easy to you or
do people think you just don't need it is? What
would you say to people who you have to now
say you're always going to fight?
Speaker 3 (40:43):
You know what I look at more than winning the fight.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I'm very focused on creating a habit of fighting and
standing up for myself. I think when you create a
habit of fighting and standing up for yourself, and sometimes
it's not a fight, things happen if you just push
a little. But I always push partially because I'm insecurit.
I need to have the success and always pushing, I
think more than anything, so that I have the self
(41:08):
confidence to know that I will always push put me
in any adverse situation, and I will tell you one thing,
without even knowing what I'm going in to confront, that
I will push harder than anybody in there because I've
made a habit of it, and so that gives me
a great leg up on confidence knowing that I have
the makings of an individual that knows how to push.
(41:28):
So it's half need, half habit, but I think making
a habit of that is instrumental in success. And if
I didn't push next week or next month, I'd probably
get away with it. Give me eight months, I'd still
get away with it. But by the twelfth month, I've
wonder if I lost my mojo. I wonder about myself,
and that's the first loss of confidence. You have to
(41:48):
push for your confidence, That's.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
What I think. And I blear so much about you
that I didn't know. I've known you now fifteen years,
maybe even sixteen years, and so many of these little
antidotes and things that have happened I haven't realized or
I didn't know when. I'm really happy that we got
to know each other, and you spent this moment with
me to share that moment with everybody else, and I
appreciate you, Damon.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
I just want to say to you, if you would
stop complaining about that goddamn meal I made you that
sure changed you.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
You could hear a few more of my things that
I say. Okay, no, but it's that honor to be
with you.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
The friendships out of Shark Tank is the best part
about Shark Tank. I'm sure you would agree, right, We're
like in the pit together.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
It is. It is a moment in history. But getting
to know great people, even Kevin, has been amazing.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
Oh Kevin's a hoot. I love that Kevin. I love
hate him like a bad brother, good brother kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
But I always love you.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
I love you too, bro.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
All Right, thanks for the opportunity, Damon. Real honor.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
That moment with Damon John is a production of the
Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from the Black
Effect Podcast Network, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite show, and don't forget
to subscribe to and rate the show and of course
you can all connect with me on any of my
(43:10):
social media platforms. At The Shark, Damon spelt like Raymond,
but what a d
All right, Bob, thank you so much for being here
and spending this moment on that moment with me. So
I want to I want to hop right into it. Barb.
You know at an age it's been published already. You
know your boyfriend or whatever left you secretary. You've bought
a thousand dollars and you turned it into it. And
that's what I always say, you turned it into a
(00:40):
really big exit.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Well, it was twenty three when I started the Corcoran Group,
or the corkorand Simone company was my first business, and
I was twenty nine when you married my secretary. By
the way, Damon, John, it's a pleasure to be here.
You're my favorite shark. I think you're so handsome and
brilliant and I was really excited to talk with you today.
You didn't give me a chance to say thank you
for letting me come.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
That is impressive because I know that I am your
paper strick. I do know that, but all the rest
of that you have very a great way of people
either making people either feel like shit or feeling special.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
So yes, it's so true.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
But you're always in the good category.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Nine, Barb. What you're at the point of twenty nine
years old, where I would think, like most self the
women that I met there, saying I have to really
start considering what I'm gonna do over the next five years,
because I want to probably be most likely be a
mother man that I have he left me. What was
going on in your mind that made you feel like
(01:43):
you can do this? You can start your own business
against those type of odds. I know you came from
a family of two thousand kids.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Are you exaggerated? My dear ten kids seems like nothing
by comparison.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Listen, people don't know. Barbara did not grow up with
a lot. You just grew up with a lot of
that's all. She had a lot of. And that's not
easy at that time. Even till today, women still get
the short end of the stick. But at that time,
you really got the short end of the stick, being
one of ten being left and more and more importantly,
being insulted by being left by for somebody else that
(02:17):
worked for you. What was going through your mind at
that moment? Why would you decide to no, you know what,
I'm going to go out and conquer the world. Why
and we'll go on through your mind?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Do you make me sound a lot better and stronger
than I actually was, And thank you for having that confidence.
But I did not own that confidence myself at the time.
All I had in my mind was is she prettier
than me?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
And she was.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
She was five years younger than me. He was ten
years older than me, so he was fifteen years her senior,
ten years my senior. And she was a lot prettier
than me and more charming. And that's the part that
bugged me. I wasn't thinking about business, I wasn't thinking
about children. I was just thinking, why would you pick
her over me?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
And I was heartbroken and it blew my confidence.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I really didn't have confidence for about a year until
I just got mad enough. And it happened one day
when I went in the office. I saw them holding
hands in my old office, and she took my desk
his idea, and they're giggling and looking at each other
lovingly and hugging each other.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
When I hear he left you for your secretary, it's
not just like he left and ran off. He kicked
you out or you left.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
No, he left me as my boyfriend, h but not
as my partner. And he wouldn't let me fire the
secretary because he said he was the majority owner, which
he was. He on fifty one percent and he was
in charge. And so I lived with the two of
them for a year, watching the happiness. When I couldn't
find a man to marry fast enough.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Why did you stay? Was it because you didn't have
any other options to leave? You weren't confident enough? Like
I think that if you listen to that story, knowing
the Barbara Corker now who's super successful, you would say,
a man right there in front of you, who's your boyfriend,
marries your secretary. You guys are still partners, and you
(04:12):
didn't spit in his face or leave. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
There's a lot wrong with me. And the main thing
was remember he had found me at a diner. He
told me I could make something of myself, which I
didn't know. He loaned me the thousand dollars to start
the business. He believed in me. He took me out
of my hometown of Edgewater into the big city. He
made me a success or. As I saw it, he
(04:37):
made me the success I was already very young, and
I thought I would be nothing without him. So it's
easy to say, kick up your heels and get the
hell out of there. But it's something else to gather
your skirts about you and get your confidence under you
and walk out the door. I did not have that confidence,
and I'm ashamed it took me a whole year. But
at least I got to the point one year later
(04:59):
of walking in one day and saying, we're ending this
business today. At least I got to the point where
I walked in one day and took control of the circumstance.
Maybe a little late, maybe a year after a lot
of broken hearts and tears, but at least I got there.
And once I did, I worked like lightning speed to
get rid of him, the company, chop up the company,
(05:20):
get rid of the girlfriend, and start all over again.
Maybe I just need a little runway space.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if
it took too long, you said, because the question of
that moment is did he see more in you in
the beginning when you were that waitress and he knew that,
whether he had his skill or not, he knew that
you were kind of look right, and you were it
(05:48):
was inevitable that you were going to be successful if
somebody gave you a little bit more direction. But maybe
he just gave you direction and sped up that success
in one year or five years instead of ten. But
a lot of people are in relationships, business relationships and
personal relationships where they feel dependent on somebody else because
that person happened to be the first or your mother,
(06:11):
I'm sure and your family always have been supported, but
that person was the extern and personal person. Oh, I
believe in you, but you already great.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
You say that you didn't know me then. I wasn't
so great. I was a poor student in school, much
like you.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Damon.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I had never had a success ever in my life,
and suddenly this great, cool guy ten years my senior
shows me the way in life.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I mean, he saw something in you, he saw the
He saw something in you to not only see There
is the thing about a person coming into your life
saying I like you be my girlfriend. There's a difference
of I like you be my girlfriend and let's start
a business together, because that's how much I believe you.
(06:54):
That's night and day. Because if you would already believe
that he was such a great person, then you would
have been with him any way. You just would have
been maybe working another restaurant, but in a bigger city.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Consider this possibility. Let's say he looked at me as
that cute little waitress with the pigtails, the bows on
my thing, beautiful white version behind the counter, and said
to himself, I bet she's great in bed, and maybe
I was. And then eventually he said, you know what,
if I want to keep this check, I better.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Give her some money and start a business.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Maybe because I know that you weren't great in bed,
he talked, sod.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
You remember that night? Thank god? I thought you.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Forgot about it. So I'll see you in court, mister.
But what do you think it was? I'm gonna get
this interview. I promised we're gonna get through this interview.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Without a lawsuit.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I doubt it, Okay, what was what? What was it
then that he saw on you? As you reflect on that,
and let me ask.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Something your interview, I'm the wrong person you ought to
have Ramon Simone on your show.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Do you remember in part what he with you? What
was the song at that moment that you healed yourself
listen to a thousand times?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Do you remember I don't remember hearing a song. I
just remember working endless hours to hide myself in my work,
so I wouldn't have to feel the pain.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
That's all. I recall. I had my own song.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You could do it, Barbie Dolling, you could do it,
You could do.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I don't remember the song. I don't even think I
had the radio one. For God's sake. All right, you
could take subjects.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
But let me just take a guess at what was
in his head when he suggested I have a thousand
dollars to start my business or our business. I just
remember him saying, you have a fabulous personality, you'd be
great in real estate sales. Why don't you start a business.
It was as quick, an instant and impressionable as that,
And I said, sure, why not? I try to anything else.
I've had twenty two other jobs. I'll give that a shot.
(09:03):
What the heck? I was more surprised than he was
when I found out I was good at it. And
it wasn't as though I was good at real estate.
I'm still not even good at it. I don't really
I'm not that interested in real estate and really never
have been. But what I'm really interested is people. And
from the get go I was so good with the
few people we hired and I think that's what got
(09:24):
the whole shooting match going rolling in the right direction.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Was that something? Were you in the twenty two jobs?
Were you good as a waitress? Were you good as
various that they did? You make more money, you have
more return customers, better tips, and various things as.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I always made money as a waitress. I always made
money in any kind of sales front forward, dealing with
people position because I really love people, even the bad
moons I love and I get a kick out of them.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
And so when you naturally like people, you tend to
do well with them.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You and I were both dyslexic. I think that a
lot of people don't realize. I think it was eight
of the twelve shots of the lex say view myself,
keln O'larry, Richard Branson, I think Rohan and various others,
but this you have this ability to cut straight through
to the core of something and either extract some value
from somebody like the money doing the photo shoot I've
(10:18):
seen a million times, and you just say some crazy
stuff to bring some joy out of them and make
them the most pleasing thing. And where does this kind
of tunnel vision on what to extract where does this
come from? Because I always tell people I'm on trick pony.
I get something and I licensed it. I put it
on the star, I said. Barbara is the most brilliant
(10:40):
marketing person I've ever met in my life because she
can come out with she could think of she could
think of things out of the air, like hey, EO,
or whatever's coming to town, I'm going to take them
through the sewers of New York City.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I'm gonna or Hey, you know you're smart, you know
you're here, I can do something to make you smart,
get that best shot out of you, or even when
people think it's an insult and it's not, it's that
what guys, I love the way that look.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I know, you saw a barbecue stuff. Would you look
like a pig? And the guy looked like a pig?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
That was pretty obvious. He looked like a pig, but
a cute one.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
But do you realize that gift of yours or it
just is so natural but you seem to home in
on it. Do you realize that's a gift or not?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
It's my secret sauce. I stole it from my mother.
What my mother could do better than anyone I have
ever met. My life is size people up, and that
sized people. I'll be careful of this guy, don't trust him.
She had that too, But she could look somebody talk
two minutes and say, it's too bad they never went
into the field of such and such. They'd be great
(11:40):
at it, like how do you know you've never been
in business. But she knew it's too bad. That little
boy is so sad. If only the mother had gotten
him in the playground, he would be great at sports
and find his confidence. Eddie, her husband, Eddie, take him
to the playground, Take that kid with you. She was
always great at putting her finger on what the gift
of everybody that he was and blowing it up. Now,
(12:02):
about making people to your reference a moment ago, about
making people comfortable and bringing out the best in people.
I can also intuitively feel people's insecurity always right away,
So on a photo shoot or something, I know how
to get around people to make them relax because I
know what they're worried about, and I know how to
shore them up and get them relaxed right away, And
then the whole thing works for everybody.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
It's such so much more fun all the way around.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Right it is until, as you have said yourself, it
is until you stick your foot in your mouth. Because
been very loose and very fun with people, and sometimes
even though you make a mistake at the moment and
you even make it as fun, let's all enjoy it.
And hey, I'm the one that put in my mouth?
(12:48):
How do you do that too? Because we're in a
world where everybody gets offended so easily, and you tend
to not care because you know you're coming at it
from a good place, and you say things all this
and that you go, oh, my silly self whatever, like
how do people even how do you do that? Was
that something you had to learn and that was national
(13:09):
as well?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
No, that's just an attempt to have fun. However, I
have a cautionary bone in me.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
In social media. You cannot do that. You cannot be
yourself in social media.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I edit myself before I open my mouth on social
media post anything, because I realized the danger of that loose,
lucidness that I have wouldn't be well received by maybe
a minority of the people who are watching or listening.
But nonetheless, you get buried with that stuff. So I'm
very careful on social media, but on a one on
(13:39):
one relationship in a crowd out of work, kidding around.
You get a chance to go around once, you might
as well have the most fun going around, don't you think.
And you're a good sport and most people are good sports.
They love to play. We're all children at heart, and
we're dying to have a good laugh, don't you think.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I think so that's why we enjoy you tell this
so much. So now all of a sudden, your career
are going and you're a career woman, and I know this.
I want you to share the story of when you
had your first child you scheduled to have You just
went in and you made it almost like a meeting
right to have your first child. Can you tell me
the story of that.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I was married to my first husband and I talked
into taking me down the aisle trying to beat my
boyfriend and his girlfriend down the aisle. He won by
two months. So I dragged this poor innocent guy from
California down the aisle, married the guy, and then within
a year I realized it was a big mistake. It
was a consummate marry on the rebound fastest story. But anyway,
(14:40):
he wanted to have children in the meanest way, and
I never got pregnant. For seven years, I never got pregnant.
Thing to dodge that bullet. But when I married my
husband Bill, I was a dog in heat and I
wanted to have children right away and I couldn't have them.
And I forgot to tell you one little anecdote that
you might find amusing with my first husband. My first
(15:02):
husband was from California. Everything about him was like an
old man. He smoked a pipe, he moved slow, he
talked slow, he thought slow. He was smart and anyway,
I was convinced when we didn't have children after a
few years, I said, the problem with you is your
sperm and slow. I think you had to go to
a doctor and check out your sperm. I think they're
not good swimmers. And he came back for the doctor.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
And said, uh ah. The doctor said, I'm fine. It
must be you and will and behold it was me.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I subsequently left him, thinking I had dodge a bullet
not having children, because that marries you to someone for life.
I feel in a weird way. And when I married
my husband, Bill, who I married thirty five years ago,
I was dying to have kids and Bill had already
had kids, but he wanted to have kids with me.
So I started seven years of in vitro to have children.
(15:52):
Thank god, it finally worked. It finally worked, and I
gave birth to my son Tom. But by then I
was forty six, a little too late to have ten kids,
I think. But then ten years later I adopted, of course, Katie,
when I was fifty six, So I wound up with
two children. I wish I had eight or ten or twelve,
but at least I have two, and I'm thankful for that.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Now, Now, do you think that it was? It was it?
I guess it was because you really didn't love the
guy as much. You didn't want children from him. But
what was your career, because at that time the Corkman
group you were probably it was all the size of
the business at that time when you were forty years
How many employees did you have one? Indeed, do I probably.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Had maybe two hundred and fifty three hundred employees when
I married my first husband, and then when I married
my second husband, I probably had five six hundred employees.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
And so for all the working parts I was working for.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Your listening to you right now, were you with the
wrong person for the wrong reasons, or was it because
you just felt you were growing your business at two
hundred you didn't get to five one. You didn't know
you let me get to five hundred, but you were
just so consumed with business. What was the reason why
you didn't want to have children then? And then all
of a sudden would bill you want to have children?
Speaker 3 (17:10):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It was false confidence. My mother had ten kids. My
sisters had three, four or five kids each. They had
kids like rabbits when they want to have children, they
popped a few out.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I figured, being the daughter of.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
My mother and father, I would be able to have
as many kids as I want, as late as I want.
I had full security, all right. But it wasn't until
I got near forty three, forty four, forty five that
I started thinking maybe I would never have children. That's
why it seemed like a miracle when I did. But
I'm not sure I really answered your question on that one.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Did I marry the wrong guy? Yes?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I did the first time, but he served a purpose.
He brought me over troubled waters when that was a
song out then that I remember bridge over troubled Waters,
and I would always think he took me away from
the boyfriend that left me, and he comforted me. He
was so kind hearted and took care of me and
mended me.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Really lovely man.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Except it wasn't the kind of thing that could be
a life partner. Wasn't for me until I met Bill,
and I was crazy enough to sign up for that guy.
Oh my god, I should have gone to a psychiatrist
and had my head examined.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
It was a.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Challenge of a lifetime compared to my first husband. But
I guess I like challenges. But I guess I like
(18:39):
challenges because I liked Billing an awful lot.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
I think Bridgel the Trouble Water is a perfect song
because when I was first coming up and food was starting,
and as Cuban would saying, girls to say is fool
or me? I was like, I forgot what was your name? Again?
But I met the spicy woman who was just really great.
And I was at the time of my life when
I was risking everything. I was already what I felt
very similar to you. I was twenty six, twenty seven
(19:06):
years old. I was proud to say that I wasn't
one of the young men who had babies under age.
I was being very careful with what I was doing.
I had everything at risk, and the last thing I
needed to do was get married and or have children.
When I have a thing called food within me. Actually,
after eight years of putting everything in, I may see
some light and then all of a sudden, I have
(19:26):
to have this woman. I have to have children with her.
I mean that healthy, not healthy. It's a little bit
of a balance on what life, on what God puts
in your way. Or that's why I'm going to say it.
But so now all of a sudden, it's interesting. You
probably have told the story of giving percentage away to
a great worker of yours who helped scale the business.
(19:46):
You scale the business when you sold the company the business?
Were you excited about selling it? What was your reasoning?
Did you get the number you wanted? You got a
number that surpassed it? What you have drive afterwards? I'm
just curious because they say that about one third of
people die five years after retiring or sell their business.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Mode, Oh, sell them the business after you're retiring. It's
a different ages.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
We're selling their business. Now. The stat could be skewed
because they could have been sick and that's why they
sold but they could. They've also said that there was
no drive and you start drinking, or you don't have purpose.
How did you feel after selling the business and what
was it? What did you feel like that moment when
you either got that check or got that wire? How
did you feel that moment? Were you scared? Were you're happy?
(20:33):
Were you confused?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It was chopped? The decision to sell my business was
so simple. It was like adding one in one equals
to I was adding up the numbers one night, studying
my market share as against my competition. I've been creeping
up the ranks.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I was the.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Lowest on the total pole, and then I was number seven.
Then I was number six, and number three, the number two,
and I was breathing right down the biggest competitor's neck,
which was Douglas Sell thement at the time.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
And then one night I did the numbers with my partner, Esther,
who was my ten percent partner. We added them up
and clear as a bell, we were number one, and
I said, let's sell this joint.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oh he was like what, and I said, yeah, I
reached my goal and the number one broke in New York.
What am I going to work for let's sell this joint.
She goes, how are you going to do that? I said,
we'll figure it out. We both went home that night.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
The next morning made a few phone calls, and within
about three months this shop was sold. It was quick, fast,
and furious about the purchase price, which was I think
the more interesting.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Part of the story.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
When I got my first offer from the loan buyer,
they offered me twenty two million dollars, and I was
on a chair going up to a ski run with
my brother.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
My younger brother said.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I just got a twenty two million dollar He said,
what did you tell them? He said, twenty Do you
know what.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Twenty two million dollars is war? Could you imagine twenty
two million dollars? Twenty two million dollars?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
We were the richest people in that chair lift in
the world, even though we didn't have our money on
the twenty two and I said, yeah. I told them
I'll take sixty six. He said why sixty six? I said,
it's my lucky number. And Sunday they eventually paid sixty six.
A month later, they kept upping it. I kept firm
until they hit sixty six. I said, I'll take it,
(22:19):
but I had a little a good luck and bad
luck rolled into one. So far it was all great.
And then I sold the contract Friday night before nine
to eleven. I remember my new CEO where I had
put in place, called me and said it's eleven thirty.
All the attorneys and accounts have to go home, will
resume on Monday. And I am the nicest, easiest going boss,
(22:40):
and I said to her, nobody's going home to that
deal is done.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
She was in.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Westchester County and she said, no, well, just we'll we
all clear our calendars first thing Monday morning. I said, no,
sign it tonight. Nobody goes home till its signed. And
they worked till one in the morning, got it signed,
and on Monday, nine to eleven happened.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Wow, boy was that.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Lucky that I got that. But unfortunately that first week
no one would return my phone call. The acquired disappeared
off the face of the earth, such silence, and I
realized the deal was never going to close. It was
just never going to happen. And I went and visited
him and closed the deal. I want to tell you
the details on that, but I closed the deal, and
thank god I got the sixty six million dollars about
(23:22):
two weeks after nine to eleven. But you asked me
another I think I dropped pc a question.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
What was something that's amazing? And now all of a
sudden because I think one of the top questions that
I'm asked, and I'm sure you are the same thing.
Two or three ways work like balance. But then people
like when do I take in an investor? And how
do I know when it's time to sell? And that's
all very personal matter to people, each individual. It sounded
like you're you had two personal things. You had number one.
(23:47):
We're number one, so I'm done, let's get it over
with because you wanted to prove something to somebody, whether
it's yourself or the world.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I reached my goal. What was that going to work on?
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I don't know, because other people say, now that I've
reached this level of success and I'm so happy and
I'm pulling money. I mean, you may have been pulling
money out of business. They go, what am I going
to do after? Because this is all I know how
to do. But then you also had another number too.
You had number one and you had sixty six, and
that they both met. It sounds like you exited what
happens next that you have this money, because you're a
(24:19):
very active person, were you able to shift this into
the things you love buying privately? I'm sure you had
to non non compete or did you sit around and go,
what the hell am I going to do? Now? I'm
trying to understand what did that? After you got that check?
How did you feel for the next six months.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
I'll tell you how it felt immediately, and then how
it felt one week later. How it felt immediately was
like the Catholic miracle. My mother always told us we
would get if we were really good kids, like it
finally happened. Catholic miracle happened. And the morning after actually
not Saturday morning, Monday morning, with nine to eleven, I
(24:58):
went to the City Bank, which was still open, and
I got a check, not a check. I got my
little cash card for two hundred dollars. I always got
two hundred dollars every Monday. And when I went to
chit and gave me my receipt, it said I had
sixty six million dollars in my.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Account, my chicking account.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I was like, ah, it was such a thrill. And
every time I go to the City bank, machine still
the same one. I would never change machines. Now I
get that same not the same thrill, but I live
it like groundhog Day again, you know the here Okay,
So that was ecstatically unbelievable to me. However, then by
(25:37):
the middle of the week, I knew exactly.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
What I wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I wanted to do all the things I never had
time to do. And I signed up for an Italian
cooking guess and I took my first class and realized
that wasn't going to do it.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
I better find something else to do.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Oh what to say? You can cook? Because you know
I wouldn't be a house to dinner.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You keep that story to yourself for a change, please,
okay tell it.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
No, I won't tell it. I won't tell it.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
I made up for it.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I've made some good meals for you, damon, John. And
you know, ever since that bad.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
One, it's not that you made a bad meal. You
didn't make anything. You didn't make ship. You was nothing there, Barbara, Barbara,
a little pack where you got a little bit of this,
a little bit of protein, and whatever it was. I
had to go down. My wife and I are stomachs
of growling. Your dogs growling and me, I think, because
(26:29):
you thought the dog was in the room, We're going
down and says we had to eat street meat and
then come back upstairs.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I knew you were gonna tell it. I knew you
couldn't resist. God, I remember.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
That obviously you take cooking. What else did you do
after that?
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I got depressed. I honestly got depressed for the first
time in my life. I never felt like a depressed
person or that type. But I don't know who I was.
I didn't know where I was going. I it's terribly
my team of brokers at the corporate Group. I had
hired every one of those thousand brokers when I sold
the business. I knew them, I knew their family. I
love them, even on a bad day, I love them.
(27:10):
And all of a sudden, I had nobody. I had
made my kitchen, and my husband and my dog. Yeah,
and you know what, I couldn't find the challenge, the excitement,
the curiosity, the creativity, all the things that are involved
in building a business for all of us. I couldn't
find any of that in my kitchen.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
I just said, five hundred people, let's say each one
is making a deal a week. You got, you got wires,
you got, you gotta travel. You you're fighting other competitors.
That's super fat. That's my point, right, it's super fast faced.
Now all of a sudden, Okay, the money's great, right,
one hundred percent. If you're smart, you're not blowing at all.
(27:52):
So then now a sudden, it just goes from one
hundred miles an hour to five.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Zero zero miles an hour.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
What do you do?
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I got depressed. I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
How long did that take? Bar?
Speaker 2 (28:05):
You know what I did? Though I have I'm a
great logical thinker. A couple of weeks later, I sat
down with my big yellowpad, put the line down the middle,
and I put down on the left side everything I
loved to do and work, and on the right side
everything I hated to do and work what I never
liked doing. And I looked at the column and kept
(28:25):
staring at the column I loved to do. And I
asked myself what occupations could I do that would use
up those gifts that I had?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
And I came up with two things.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Start a public relations company because I was so good
at it, or start a marketing company because I was
so good at it. But then I realized both of
those businesses wouldn't give me the attention that I was
accustomed to. And the third thing on the list was
going to the TV business, and that's why I decided
to let that one win, and I started going to
(28:55):
the studios and trying to get a job as a
real estate expert because I was, and the Today Show
hired me for one day a week, and that was
the beginning of my new career. I made it sound emzy.
That effort took probably five hundred rejections. My Rolodex was
useless to me and one yes, thank god, one yes finally, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
I don't think people take what you just said as
serious as it's just I want. I remember when I
was first working with the Kardashians and I was at
dinner with Kim and I said, what do you want
to do? She said, I want to be famous, just
like that. Wow, she said, I want to be famous,
and we were told me, I think she's at Reggie
(29:39):
by far. Yeah, and she said something like any aspect
of my life I'm going to show a social media
just coming out, and she was like, like me and Reggie.
We kissed publicly we do. I'm a very private person
when it comes to those matters. And she said I
want to be famous, and I think that was she
was focused enough on what she really wanted. A lot
of people want fame and or it's easy to say
(30:01):
I want to be successful because they can go, hey,
I want to be successful. I want to take care
of my family. Everybody can relate to that for some
way to say, like you just said, it wasn't giving
me the attention that I wanted or needed. Very there's
not a lot of people you may say I want
to be a singer because.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I want to make everybody happiest.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Saying for a few people like maybe Kim or like
you would say I want attention. Now, that's extremely powerful
and that's knowing your why. And I was able to
get you to take all the other things out of
the way. Uh, PR this and that, I don't even
know PR. I want to be the one that they're
talking about.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
I want to be the star.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Was that because you was that? Because you came up
with a family of ten where you needed the attention.
You very clear and it's easy to say, listen, out
of ten kids, the one who makes the funniest jokes
or the one who does stand on their head gets attend.
What what during that moment when you drew that pad?
What during that moment made you really you were blatantly
(31:03):
honest with yourself. What made you go there and be
able to even say it to people?
Speaker 3 (31:08):
I don't know about saying it to people, but I
was in touch with.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
My feelings when I was working my after school jobs.
Since I was very young, I always knew how to grandstand.
I always knew how to get attention whatever I went,
because I really needed it. When I was at the
Corcoran group, most people would say having an empire and
having so many people working for you and having a
brand that's well known was great. That wasn't what I
(31:31):
found great. What I found great was the reporters calling
me every day and asking my opinion.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
That was attention. I loved it.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
When I saw my name in print quoted, that was attention.
And I'm sure, and stem back to my mother and
father having those two they had to share their attention
with ten kids. I'm sure I had a deficit. If
I had seen a shrink, I probably wouldn't have been
successful because I probably would have gotten known my need
for attention, but I didn't, and therefore I kept on
(32:00):
that path. How do I get more attention? How do
I grandstand? How do I get all eyes on me?
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I need to have them on me. It's really a.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Sick o situation, isn't it, And not the healthiest stance
for anybody. But nonetheless, that's who I was, and that's
the race I ran and won.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
What do you think they'll barber about that? When you
see other people as you and your mother had a
great gift, do you think that not being honest with
ourselves is probably one of the biggest traps that we
have that we end up not living a proofful life
because you're very honest with yourself. Do you see that
in other people? They're just not honest with themselves.
Speaker 4 (32:39):
No.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You know what I think is a much more damaging
thing that happens with a lot of people, happened with me.
I was an exem from it is you can't shake
the old tape setter in your head. Whatever you used
to be as a kid, whatever your insecurities are, whatever
stops you, whatever you second guess, it's so ingrained because
it came up. It's your child to a friend that
(33:00):
came up the ranks with you, and to change that
tape is very difficult. I know, and you would know
as well as I know.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
How hard is.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
It to shake a tape in your head that you're
a dumb kid? Okay when you're in school, defined as
a dumb kid you can't read or write laughing at you.
You don't shake that so easily. We turn it into
our advantage because we're proving the world.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I know it's a YouTube.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Damon as well as as me, proven the world you're
not stupid, you're successful, you could do what you want
to do. I'm still proving it. But I think shaking
out that tape, getting rid of it, and trying to
bust through it and just be a new you and
ignore that old, dirty tape. I think it's the biggest
challenge for most of us. It has been for me.
It still creeps in my insecure moments. Not that I'm
(33:45):
afraid of being poor or going backwards in that way,
because I could always get a job as a waitress.
I'm a great waitress, but just the idea that believing
in the way you used to define yourself, you've got
to get rid of that shit if you're going to
move forward, and I've been successful in doing that, and
I think it's very hard.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
For people to get rid of it. It takes a
lot of practice.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
You won't believe the tape in my head that kicks
in now and I'm insecure. Used to be, Oh Barbia,
shouldn't be. You shouldn't have really tried it so important.
That guy's not worth your time. Don't ask for anything
you'll find back at the office.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
You could do this.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I used to like back off and things. I wanted
to be a killer on and ride the horse and
slay the dragon out, back off, back off.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
No.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
Then I have a great tape.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
It says you are hot shit, you are good looking,
you are brilliant, you are wonderful, you.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Are the cats me out. I just loaded up with
all this shit, so there's no room for the old tape.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
But I think it takes a lot of practice at
that to really make it your own. I really do,
And I think it holds a lot of people back.
A lot of people back, a lot of people back,
people want to be back. There's a lot of practice
(35:03):
at that to really make it your own. I really do,
and I think it holds a lot of people back.
I know the people I've been acquainted with is as friends.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
I love the way to say that when people want
to know their why, instead of going back there wanting
to go back to who that kid was and say,
like you said, is a kid who came along with
the journey with you. You never get fully rid of that person,
or maybe you extract some of the values. Now let's
go to something. I think there was a very special
moment that a lot of people don't realize. Things come
down to a moment. I always say, you're an amazing skier.
(35:33):
I've been told I know that I'll dust you on
a snowboard, but it's fine. But I'm told that people
practice for four years ago to the Olympics, and they
will practice over the best people in the world, and
they will win over milliseconds for four years of practice. Amazing.
It's the same as it's the same as an opening
of a letter. I realized the other day that I said,
some of my negotiations have gone on for months, when
(35:56):
all I needed to do instead of telling the lawyer
of this, and he tells that lawyer that, and she
tells that lawyer that all I need to write is
the opening sentence was, here's what I'm trying to accomplish,
and to accomplished, I make sure that I say I
know you're great, I know you have this, I know
you're trying to complish this. Hey, I'm trying to do
this with you. You got turned down for to come out
to film Shark Tank, and you wrote a great letter
(36:17):
and it opened up to Mark Burnette with hey, Mark,
I heard you took another girl to the dance.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
That great line.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
That is an opening and the story. I don't want
to butcher, but basically you you got turned down or
you said that you were you wanted to go out
there to film, and you heard that you were in
the runnings and you said, yeah, you know, they went.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
I signed a contract, they offered me the job. I
signed a contract and federalshing it.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Tell it really quick. The story. I know this story
was to get into it about that.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
They had come back and told me after I signed
the contract, they had changed your mind. They hired another
woman from my job, so that could be you. I
signed the contract and they reminded me they didn't countersign
the contract.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
That's true, they called me and consider me a fallback
sometime in the future. That's the kiss of death. That's
like being the ugly sister at a problem right. Who
wants that spot?
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Right?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
And then I sat down and wrote your email that
you just referenced, and that was the first line. I understand, Mark,
you asked another girl to dance instead of me. I
appreciate being considered a fallback, but I'm much more accustomed
to coming in first. And let me tell you why.
And I said, all the best things that happened to
me in my life happened on the heels of rejection.
And I cited Sister Stella Marie telling me I'd be
(37:38):
stupid because I couldn't read right to the Donald himself,
who wouldn't pay me a penny of the four million
dollars till I beat him in federal court, till all
the old boys networks saying I would never compete with them,
un till he became the number one rival.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
I just cited my mom my five high points. I
guess you'd call it.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
And I told him I'd consider coming out, or I'd
like him to consider taking me out to compete for
the seat. I'd be on the plane on Tuesday night,
and that's when you met me. The next day, he
invited me out, and I competed for that seat, and
the rest of it is history.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
As they he took the number one seat, and we're
all better for it. How did you have the emotional
intelligence to write that letter? Without that letter, somebody else
would have said that email would have went off as
Barbara is desperate, and look at the great Barbara Corkor
and look at the shit she sent me.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I didn't give a shit what they thought. Honestly, I've
never I gave up on worrying about that back when
I was in school. Really, you know what, I felt
like it was written from an attitude of strength, which
it was like, I cannot believe you actually passed me by.
I was insulted and I was angry, and that's what
got me to write it. And you know what, I
really felt that they were missing the best thing that
could have ever happened. It was sincere and powerful. And
(38:53):
he heard the tone because he said to Charman, if
you remember Charmon, she was the recruiter of the town.
I don't know if she approached you first. She was
the one who approached me. She called me back and
she said, I took your email into Mark. I made
a promise to take it in and he said, she's
a real shark. What a better compliment than that, she's
a real shark?
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Inviter out? Oh, and of course I got invited out.
Do you know what?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Everything I have a visualized came true? And I had
a picture of me as a shark, and the idea
that it wasn't going to come true didn't make any
sense to me. It didn't follow the script of my life.
And that's why I stood up to be counted and objected,
and I did it as a lady, but with a
lot of power as well. I think it was well written.
I want you to know not to tell Mark Burnett.
I shot it off so fast. I probably rewrote it
(39:38):
seven or eight times to.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Make sure every word counted.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
But it looked like it was off the cuff. I
just wrote it off the cup. But it turned the key,
and that's all that's important. It gave me the opportunity
to meet all these great entrepreneurs, great ones and not
just great ones over all the years. Yeah, and it
created a whole new life of me, a whole new
team of people to surround myself with my own joy
back r.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
But you would think they would with a person that
has so much success and admiration that you wouldn't have
to keep fighting like that, even though it's just a
small fight or a big fight, you wouldn't have to
prove yourself. And a lot of people think that for
some reason, they just stop fighting after a while. They
think they're going to get to a point of Barbara
Corporate and they're gonna have to stop fighting because everybody's
gonna kneel at their feet. What would you say to
(40:21):
people like that, you fight harder today to prove yourself
because people want to bet against you because you are successful.
Do people just think it comes easy to you or
do people think you just don't need it is? What
would you say to people who you have to now
say you're always going to fight?
Speaker 3 (40:43):
You know what I look at more than winning the fight.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I'm very focused on creating a habit of fighting and
standing up for myself. I think when you create a
habit of fighting and standing up for yourself, and sometimes
it's not a fight, things happen if you just push
a little. But I always push partially because I'm insecurit.
I need to have the success and always pushing, I
think more than anything, so that I have the self
(41:08):
confidence to know that I will always push put me
in any adverse situation, and I will tell you one thing,
without even knowing what I'm going in to confront, that
I will push harder than anybody in there because I've
made a habit of it, and so that gives me
a great leg up on confidence knowing that I have
the makings of an individual that knows how to push.
(41:28):
So it's half need, half habit, but I think making
a habit of that is instrumental in success. And if
I didn't push next week or next month, I'd probably
get away with it. Give me eight months, I'd still
get away with it. But by the twelfth month, I've
wonder if I lost my mojo. I wonder about myself,
and that's the first loss of confidence. You have to
(41:48):
push for your confidence, That's.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
What I think. And I blear so much about you
that I didn't know. I've known you now fifteen years,
maybe even sixteen years, and so many of these little
antidotes and things that have happened I haven't realized or
I didn't know when. I'm really happy that we got
to know each other, and you spent this moment with
me to share that moment with everybody else, and I
appreciate you, Damon.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
I just want to say to you, if you would
stop complaining about that goddamn meal I made you that
sure changed you.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
You could hear a few more of my things that
I say. Okay, no, but it's that honor to be
with you.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
The friendships out of Shark Tank is the best part
about Shark Tank. I'm sure you would agree, right, We're
like in the pit together.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
It is. It is a moment in history. But getting
to know great people, even Kevin, has been amazing.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
Oh Kevin's a hoot. I love that Kevin. I love
hate him like a bad brother, good brother kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
But I always love you.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
I love you too, bro.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
All Right, thanks for the opportunity, Damon. Real honor.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
That moment with Damon John is a production of the
Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from the Black
Effect Podcast Network, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite show, and don't forget
to subscribe to and rate the show and of course
you can all connect with me on any of my
(43:10):
social media platforms. At The Shark, Damon spelt like Raymond,
but what a d
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